Nine Professors that You Meet Online

I have studied at a state university, a catholic junior college, and a private nonprofit university. I have been a day student, an evening student, and an online student. Some would say that this makes me a flake, but I prefer to think of myself as connoisseur of higher education. As such, I have learned from a lot of professors. Good or bad, professors are some of the most eccentric people to walk the Earth. None so much as those you will encounter teaching online classes. Below are nine types of professors that you will meet online.

The Autopilot Professor

This guy doesn’t respond to email, phone calls, or discussion board posts. No one has heard from him all semester. He seems to have vanished shortly after setting up his digital blackboard. Or died. Maybe he should take page from the below professor’s book.

The TA Professor

This professor doesn’t have time for menial tasks like teaching. That’s what Teaching Assistants are for. This is fine for Math 101, but you are genuinely annoyed when it happens with one of your core courses. Shouldn’t you at least get break on tuition?

img_1979The Slacker Dude Professor

The easiest way to identify this professor is by their untimed, self-grading, open book tests. The textbook looks the like one that you had in eighth grade, there are no mandatory discussion board posts, and he assigned a paltry two page final paper. What’s the catch? After being laid back all semester, he gives you a B in his class. Dick.

The Death by a Thousand Cuts Professor

You’ve listened to the lecture, done the reading, posted to the discussion board, responded to two of your classmates’ posts, and finished the rough draft of the paper. You’re done for the week. No, wait. The professor added links to three YouTube videos, a thirty-six page PDF excerpt of his college textbook, and an extra credit assignment. FML

The Dadfessor

img_1980He comments on each and every post on his discussion board with feedback and words of encouragement. Email him a simple question and he will respond with five paragraphs of instructions and tips. But beware – Dadfessor can be a little harsh when it comes to doling out grades. He wants you to succeed, but he wants to make sure that you reach your full potential. It’s for your own good kids. Tough love.

The Dog Ate My Gradebook Professor

This lady hates grading assignments more than my middle schooler hates completing them. Finals are next week and the professor hasn’t posted a grade since week two. You had an A then, but your current grade is anyone’s guess.

The Intense Professor

Never mind that this course is required of all freshman. The Intense Professor thinks that all of his pupils will one day work in this field. The rest of your grades slip from spending so much time on this class. By the end of the term you know more than you ever cared to on the subject.

img_1978The Celebrefessor

Her latest book is mandatory reading even though it is only loosely related to the curriculum. Her lectures feel like infomercials. God help you if you don’t address her by her preferred title. This professor is a big deal in her world and won’t let anyone forget it. On the bright side, she’s a pretty easy grader since she doesn’t want to lose any fans.

The Insomniac Professor

This professor blows up your phone in the middle of the night updating content on their digital blackboard and responding to that email that you sent this morning. Thanks for the 4 a.m. wake up. As if working full time and going to college at night weren’t difficult enough. You check the syllabus to see if they live on the other side of the country, but no, same area code.

Feel free to add your own online professor encounters in the comments below. Don’t forget to subscribe and share if you liked this post.